<< Previous post in the Jacob series: #3 Wrestling at Yabbok – doing the inner work
There are four episodes close together in Jacob’s life that can tell us something about the nature of his—and our—spiritual journey. I’ve been reading—and writing about—these four episodes through the lens of Four-Worlds consciousness, as taught in kabbalah: Assiyah, the material and physical world of action; Yetzirah, the world of emotion, imagination and dreams (a big theme for the month of Kislev that we’re in); Beriah, the world of thought and intellect; and Atzilut, the world of soul, spirit and God-connection.
The first episode (Jacob #1) is Jacob’s dream of a ladder with angels ascending and descending. The dream awakens Jacob to Four-Worlds consciousness, prompting him to see everything in a new light. God promises Jacob: “Remember I am with you. I will protect you wherever you go.” Jacob begins to understand that God is not only in that place, but in all places at all times. Jacob sees that the world is a Beit-Eil, a ‘house’ that contains God. My invitation to the reader is to explore what that could mean—whether you’re a theist, or you think of God as a metaphor for what is highest, deepest, or of ultimate concern.
In the second episode (Jacob #2), Jacob extricates himself from his entanglement with his father-in-law Lavan, and learns to navigate the material, emotional and psychological world more skilfully. Jacob is growing up, taking responsibility for his family and household, and not running away anymore. After the two men part ways, Jacob stops briefly at a place he names ‘Double-Camp’, perhaps because he’s caught between his less aware, more fearful self called ‘Jacob’, and an emerging, wiser, more consciously God-connected self who will acquire a new soul-name.
The third episode (Jacob #3) is Jacob’s dark night of the soul, wrestling with the mysterious figure at Yabbok. The Torah is giving us a mythic teaching about daring to look inwards, and face every aspect of ourselves without flinching; facing himself, and some of his deepest fears is what earns Jacob his new name, Israel, ‘God-Wrestler’. Jacob calls the place P’nieil / ‘face of God’, for by learning how to see more deeply into life is like being able to see more deeply into God, to meet God panim-el-panim, face-to-face (Gen. 32:31).
In the lead-up to his meeting with Esau after years of estrangement, Jacob has learned that God can be seen in all things, and be found in what is in front of him. He has learned how to find a functional way through a dysfunctional relationship. And by seeing his own dark side and finding a way to see ‘that of God’ within it, he is more equipped to face the darkness he has feared and expected from Esau.
Before we explore the fourth episode in depth, and what I think about it, I’d like to suggest that you discover your own initial responses to the uninterrupted narrative by reading just the indented paragraphs below.[1] At the same time, listen for the very different tone and language of Jacob and Esau. Jacob, I believe, enters this encounter with a heightened spiritual awareness, and approaches Esau with humility, grace and thoughtfulness; arguably, there is also nuance here in that Jacob may be using elaborate social ritual to navigate a situation in which he feels ill at ease, not least because he is less emotionally open than his brother. Esau is more spontaneous and direct, his heart on his sleeve; despite his goodwill, it’s not clear he’s aware of the transformative potential of this meeting.
[After you’ve read the indented paragraphs, come back to this point, to read on.]
In this fourth episode, I believe that there are clues throughout the text that suggest Jacob maintains an intense, conscious connection to God throughout his meeting with Esau. And it is this that helps him maintain a constructive perspective, and respond positively to Esau’s boisterous interactions. Esau’s questions and comments show a lack of reflection; but each time, Jacob elevates the moment, while humbling himself with deferential language and actions, couching each exchange in terms of God’s presence, kindness and generosity, the goodness he sees in Esau, and the real potential for Esau and Jacob to heal the hurt between them. It is as if Jacob sees everything through God’s loving eyes.
[1] Jacob lifted up his eyes, and saw … look! Esau was coming, and with him, four hundred men! [Jacob] divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maids: [2] he put the maids and their children first, Leah and her children behind them, and Rachel and Joseph behind them, [3] while he himself advanced ahead of them. And he bowed low to the earth seven times, until he had come close to him, to his brother.
Fear has been a recurrent theme in Jacob’s life. But after his night wrestling at Yabbok, he seems to have turned a corner. On the morning of his meeting with Esau, we read that he both ‘lifts his eyes’ and ‘sees’. The second verb might seem superfluous, but then, as a third introduction to catching sight of Esau, we get hineih / look!, a word that always signals when we must pay attention to a moment of heightened spiritual significance (Atzilut). Jacob’s awareness is raised three levels: ‘lifting eyes’, ‘seeing’, and hineih—he deliberately brings a different way of perceiving. Jacob, with expanded consciousness, embodies his soul-identity Yisrael, and this shapes his experience with Esau. God’s promise to him in the ladder dream—“I am with you. I will protect you wherever you go”—becomes Jacob’s lived reality. He ‘keeps his feet on the ground’ in his meeting with Esau, while at the same time drawing on God-consciousness—his ‘head in heaven’, as Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev described it in his interpretion of the ladder dream.[2] Jacob literally connects his Atzilut-consciousness with Assiyah-groundedness when he bows ‘low to the earth’. A clue that this is more than just a social formality is in the number seven, a ‘spiritual’ number in Judaism. I wonder also whether Jacob’s seven bows might correspond to the seven ‘emotional’ sefirot, the ‘lower sefirot’ on the kabbalistic tree[3]—Jacob’s approach here shows mastery over his habitual fear reaction, and great emotional intelligence (Yetzirah).
[4] Esau ran to meet him, clasped him, flung himself upon his neck, and … kissed … him. And they wept.
There is an interesting echo here of the same verbs used to describe Lavan meeting Jacob for the first time.[4] Like their uncle’s, Esau’s initial reaction seems to be one of spontaneous familial warmth, to all appearances, brushing aside the pain and distrust there has been between the two brothers. Four verbs describe Esau’s actions: ‘ran’ (Assiyah), ‘embraced’ (emotion in Yetzirah), ‘flung himself on his neck’ (could this be some kind of Beriah reference, in the sense that Esau is not thinking clearly about what he’s doing?), and kissed (a moment of deep communion in Atzilut)[5]. Esau is not a brute, and these verbs might possibly be a subtle reference to Esau’s Four-Worlds self, albeit at probably only a basic level of awareness. Perhaps Esau sees this is a different Jacob, one he doesn’t have to go to war with, which is why he is so willing to step forward.
[5] Then [Esau] lifted up his eyes and saw the women and the children, and said: “What are these to you?” [Jacob] said: “The children with whom God has graced your servant.”
In verse 1, there were three ‘awareness’ references for Jacob. For Esau here, there are just the first two, and there is no hineih this time. He just says what he sees. There’s a certain appeal tointhat directness, but Esau seems to lack depth of insight. Jacob immediately elevates the exchange through his answer, framing the situation in Divine terms, at the same time humbling himself before Esau (‘your servant’). In this story, he uses the word chanan / ‘grace’ five times, drawing a link between God’s grace and, implicitly, the possibility of Esau showing the same grace.
[6] Then the maids came close, they and their children, and bowed low. [7] Then Leah and her children came close, and bowed low. Afterward Joseph and Rachel came close, and bowed low. [8] [Esau] said: “What is it to you, all this camp that I’ve met?” [Jacob] said: “To find grace in my lord’s eyes.”
There’s a musicality to verses 6-7; the cadences and formality echo Jacob’s dignified yet humble approach. Three more bows occur, making a total of ten bows in this exchange. If Jacob’s first seven bows were the lower ‘emotional’ sefirot, then these three made by his household—and thereby an ‘extension’ of Jacob himself—would correspond to the three upper sefirot[6]. Jacob reaches further up the ‘ladder’ to his most refined intellectual and spiritual self to continue his interaction with Esau. By contrast, Esau doesn’t appear to pick up on Jacob’s deference. Unperturbed, Jacob once more refers to the idea of chanan / grace, this time Esau’s. Jacob is not being passive-aggressive here. I think he is genuinely trying to evoke Esau’s higher nature. Or it may be that Jacob, because of the ‘trickster’ side of his personality, doesn’t realise that Esau plays straight and simply wants to restore the relationship. Anyway, Jacob is not expecting Esau reconcile with no effort on Jacob’s part; he is offering a huge conciliatory gift in compensation for the wrong he has done Esau.
[9] Esau said: “I have plenty! My brother, let what’s yours be yours!”
Is Esau bragging about his wealth? ‘I’ve got loads of stuff!’ Or is he saying, ‘Life doesn’t have to be complicated. I’ve got what I want, so let’s leave it at that.’ But Jacob wants to push things a bit further.
[10] But Jacob said: “No, I pray! If, I pray, I have found grace in your eyes, then take this gift from my hand. For I have, after all, seen your face as one sees the face of God, and you have shown me favour. [11] Take, I pray, my blessing that is brought to you, for God has been gracious to me—for I have everything.” And [Jacob] pressed [Esau], so [Esau] took [the blessing-gift].
This is the heart of the encounter. On five previous occasions, Jacob has referred to this as a minchah / ‘gift’ (Gen. 32:14, 19, 21, 22; Gen. 33:10). But now for the first time he calls it birchati / ‘my blessing’, a reference, surely, to the ‘blessing’ he received from their father Isaac, usurping Esau’s rights. Perhaps Jacob feels his father Isaac went too far, and that “after all” that has happened, he, Jacob needs to rebalance things by giving something back to Esau. While Jacob is talking about the material gift (Assiyah), this feels like he is really giving much more holistically and symbolically, to include the other three Worlds. He maintains a deeply respectful stance throughout vv10-11, using the deferential nah / ‘I pray’ twice (and twice more later on). Once more, he mentions ‘grace’. Esau had said, ‘I have a lot!’; but when Jacob says ‘I have everything‘, this is not oneupmanship, but an acknowledgement, not least to himself, that to be in the knowledge of God’s grace is to know fullness. In seeing Esau’s face “as if seeing the face of God”, Jacob sees through the veil of Ordinary Reality to God in this moment. “Deep calls to deep” (Ps 42:7); Jacob sees God-in-Esau and honours that in this exchange. Higher and Lower realities merge; faces and identities merge (not unlike the episode at Yabbok, which Jacob renames Peniel / ‘face of God’); the grace being invoked is simultaneously God’s, Jacob’s, and Esau’s. So now the gift is not just for Esau, but for God-through-Esau, making a tikkun / healing in all Worlds. In naming God, Jacob makes this a sacred moment, a journey through Non-Ordinary Reality; at the same time, he’s encouraging Esau to respond to this as a sacred moment. Although Esau misses much of what is really happening here, there is no question that, just as the night before at Yabbok, Jacob once more sees God ‘face-to-face’.
At one level, Jacob’s offers, and Esau’s refusals and then final acceptance are part of a convention of the time; Esau was always going to accept eventually, and taking the gift can then be seen as even a doing a favour so that Jacob doesn’t lose ‘face’ (there’s that word again …) At another level, we can read this as Esau being able to with accept from Jacob only in a material way (Assiyah), unaware of what he could have received from his brother in the other three Worlds. So what does Esau do at this point?
[12] Then [Esau] said: “Let’s move on, and go; and I’ll go along with you.”
He bumps us unceremoniously right back down into Ordinary Reality, and ordinary awareness, which is Esau’s main operating mode. In contrast to the layers of meaning embedded in Jacob’s utterances, Esau again speaks directly; he seems content to be brief, rather than experience the depth of the encounter and its implications. However, he’s friendly, and wants to travel alongside Jacob.
[13] But [Jacob] said to [Esau]: “My lord knows that the children are frail, and the sheep and the oxen are in my care; if we were to push them for a single day, all the animals would die! [14] I pray, let my lord cross on ahead of his servant, while as for me, I will travel slowly, at the pace of the gear ahead of me and at the pace of the children, until I come to my lord, at Se’ir.” [15] Then Esau said: “Pray! let me leave with you some of the people who are mine.” But [Jacob] said: “For what reason? May I only find grace in my lord’s eyes!” [16] So Esau started back that same day on his journey to Se’ir;
Esau (meaning ‘the rough one’, Gen. 25:25) has always been the more physical, earth-connected of the brothers. Jacob has taken many years to learn about stewardship in the physical realm (Assiyah). This story shows some of the fruits of that. Esau is reactive and ready rush onwards, letting adrenalin run his responses; he might not be aware that more prolonged contact so early after the brothers’ reconciliation could bring challenges in their as yet untested new relationship. Jacob may be erring on the side of caution; fear may still be lurking, and there is still more to learn about how to relationships work. Now slower because of his limp, Jacob listens to his body, and is aware that the fully balanced person must be as attentive to physical needs and health, as he is to the needs of his inner life. He must go slowly and mindfully enough to bring his physical self into the ‘care’ of his God-consciousness (just as he had looked after his family and household in v.1-3).
Throughout this episode, there’s a thoughtful, unrushed air to Jacob—dignified and confident, but not arrogant; and he maintains a respectful tone towards Esau (‘my lord’, ‘your servant’). Esau is much more in-the-moment, hurried, almost deliberately ignoring—or ignorant of?—the deeper points, and conciliatory moves that Jacob is making. Esau does experience the encounter in all Four Worlds (how could he not?), but not perhaps in particular depth; it is emotional occasion (Yetzirah), in which he asks questions to understand as best he can the meaning of Jacob’s actions (Beriah), there is the physical embrace and kiss as well as a material transaction (Assiyah), and the brothers’ souls touch even if Esau may not be conscious of that or articulate it (Atzilut). But Jacob has been consciously working on his Four-Worlds self, as we have seen in the previous three episodes. He brings every bit of his experience and hard-earned wisdom to this interaction with Esau. For Jacob, this is about righting a material injustice (Assiyah), healing emotional wounds (Yetzirah), meeting minds (Beriah) and re-connecting with his brother at soul level (Atzilut).
Jacob says he will aim to rejoin Esau at Se’ir. Se’ir means ‘hair’, and is a reminder of Esau the ‘hairy’ brother (Gen. 25:25). Esau does, in fact, return to Se’ir. Any even slightly heightened awareness that he might have had during this encounter is probably short-lived; Esau continues to operate at the level of his ‘hairy’, earthy, unreflective nature, and we learn nothing of whether he has changed or grown.
[17] But Jacob travelled to Sukkot. He built himself a beit-house there, and for his livestock he made sukkot-shelters. Therefore they called the name of the place: Sukkot. [18] Jacob came home safe and whole to the city of Shechem, which is in the land of Canaan, on his homecoming from Paddan-Aram, and he made camp facing the city. [19] And he acquired the piece of territory where he had spread out his ohel-tent, from the Sons of Chamor, Shechem’s father, for a hundred lambs’-worth.
These three verses introduce interesting vocabulary with layers of meaning. The beit / house reminds us of Beit-Eil, the place where Jacob dreamed of the ladder; Beit-Eil is the house of God, which, being eternal, is, metaphorically, the only ‘shelter’ Jacob, and we, can truly rely on. The sukkot / shelters and ohel / tent, the temporary dwellings for the animals, might represent the temporary containment our souls enjoy during our physical lives. Shechem, meaning ‘shoulder’, and associated with shouldering a load, is the place of responsibility that Jacob is now willing to inhabit; Cana’an is associated with emotional and spiritual humility, which Jacob has shown to both God and Esau. Leaving Paddan-Aram, where his family originated, shows Jacob, like Abraham, leaving the land of his fathers, to become his own person. All these physical (Assiyah) places can also be experienced as expressions of and gateways to the other Three Worlds. Jacob also acquires a bit of chamor-red, which is perhaps a hint at integrating some of the ‘wild man’ strength of his wild, adom-red haired brother Esau whom he has now matched for the first time.
[20] There [Jacob] set up an altar [of thanksgiving] and called it: ‘Eil-God, Elohei-the powerful-God of Yisrael—God of the one-who-wrestles-with-God!’ [Go back to start of commentary on episode four.]
Eil was an ancient name for God. Jacob named the location of the ladder dream Beit-Eil / ‘house of God’. He renamed the site at Yabbok Penuel / ‘face of God’. Jacob has deepened his ‘knowing’ that everywhere is where God is, and every face is the face of God. Elohei referred to God as the expression of all the powers / forces in the universe. Yisrael was the soul-name given to Jacob after he wrestled at night with an angel. In a sacred moment of total surrender to God, Jacob effectively calls his place of reconciling with Esau: ‘The-omni-powerful-God-of-me’. Jacob’s knowledge, from lived experience, is that God surrounds, fills, and animates all of existence and experience.
Jacob’s moment-by-moment consciousness of God protects him, and makes this encounter peaceful and successful for both brothers. It helps Jacob answer lovingly and wisely; act generously, humbly, decisively, and responsibly; and make good decisions for his family, household and livestock, and himself. And it increases the specific and positive impact that God can make in his life. Whether or not we’re theists, ‘God’ is a central figure and/or metaphor in our core Jewish myths, texts and teachings. So I think it is worth giving serious attention to the question, “What does it mean to consciously put God at the centre of my life?”[7]
This is not a story of good and evil. Neither brother is good or bad, and they both operate in the Four Worlds, albeit in very different ways. So what if Esau doesn’t see God in the encounter, and Jacob does? God is in both of them, nevertheless. If we choose to make it so, looking into any face, any situation, is looking into the face of God. If a person or situation appears to be an enemy, someone who has wronged us, or a significant threat, then we are also facing deeply into mystery. For God is there also, even though everything in us might be screaming to the contrary. Looking for—and into—the face of God brings ambiguity and tension, intimacy and terror; it also brings the possibility of healing and positive transformation. Seeing another’s face could be like seeing the face of God. God is in all faces and all places. As Lawrence Kushner wrote in his book, ‘God Was in This Place and I, i Did Not Know’: “There is another world, right here within this one, whenever we pay attention.”[8]
YHVH, may we find the openness, courage, and generosity to look beyond the surface,
and to see You, now and always, ‘face-to-face’. Amen.
Footnotes
[1] My own translation, based on Everett Fox, Shocken Bible translation.
[2] Kedushat Levi, late 18th century. “’And there was a ladder set on the ground’ refers to a human being in this world, “and their head reaches the heavens,” meaning that in their service they reach upwards.”
[3] Chesed-kindness, Gevurah-severity, Tiferet-harmony, Netzach-perseverance, Hod-humility, Yesod-intimacy, Malchut-grounded.
[4] Gen. 29:13 – Lavan ‘ran to meet’ Jacob, ‘clasped’ him, and ‘kissed’ him.
[5] The scroll traditionally has a series of dots over this word – there are many commentaries wondering what that might mean.
[6] Chochmah-wisdom, Binah-understanding, Da’at-knowledge.
[7] For that matter, what does it mean to put God at the centre of our death? I hope I will be able to rise to that opportunity. There is a beautiful story of the Alter Rebbe (R. Shneur Zalman of Liadi) on his deathbed saying to his grandson, “Mendel, do you see the wall?”. And his grandson says, “Yes, I see the wall.” And the Alter Rebbe replies, “I don’t see it anymore—I only see the word of God holding it all together.” Zalman Shachter-Shalomi & Netanel Mile-Yepez (2011) A Hidden Light: stories and teachings of early HaBaD and Bratzlav hasidism, p. 141
[8] Kushner, Lawrence (1991) God Was in This Place and I, i Did Not Know: Finding Self, Spirituality and Ultimate Meaning