There is a lot to think about in preparing for your wedding day. On this page, we focus solely on the ceremony itself, and what I will need to know, in order to help you make the ceremony a success. (So we’re not going to cover questions about the venue, clothing decisions, stag or hen nights, food, flowers, guest list, invitations, room bookings, seating arrangements, honeymoon plans or many other pressing issues.)
I will ask to sit down with you, and talk about what is on this checklist. It is good to make sure we leave plenty of time for this. It’s also important that I get to know something about each of you, and your relationship. You are unique, and your relationship is unique, which means that the wedding ceremony should be crafted to reflect who you are, what you believe, what you care about, and what you want your marriage to be. A good Jewish wedding incorporates all of these elements, as well as drawing on traditional prayers and practices – balancing the old and familiar with the new.
To help you in your planning, make sure you also read the other blog posts about weddings (see below).
About You
Date:
Time:
Location:
Celebrant (m’sadeir / m’saderet kidushin):
Co-celebrant(s):
PARTNER 1 & 2 (answer for each)
Contact info: address; phone (land, mobile & work); email
Birthday & age:
Gender identity & pronouns [This information is needed for choosing vocabulary for your ceremony.]:
Religion (raised religion; conversion date)
Status (bereaved from previous partner; divorced):
Children & Ages:
Occupation:
Education:
Parent 1: name; religion; status (married, separated, divorced, bereaved; remarried to …)
Parent 2: name; religion; status (married, separated, divorced, bereaved; remarried to …)
Siblings (names):
Hebrew Name:
How long have you been together:
When engaged:
Ceremony information
Partner 1 & Partner 2 seeing each other before the chuppah?
B’deken (veiling or adapted ritual)?
Chuppah (wedding canopy)?
K’tubah (marriage contract, or loving statement of mutual commitment)?
Time for k’tubah signing:
Music choices:
Hakafot (circling)?
Double ring (couple give rings to each other)? Single ring (husband to wife)?
Format of service?
How much Hebrew / English?
If interfaith, or Jewish and non-Jewish partners, how will both partners’ personal histories, families and any traditions be honoured?
Personal or additional readings / creative vows?
Other participants?
Who is bringing glass to break?
Who is bringing Kiddush cup(s)?
Who is bringing K’tubah?
Photography and video rules discussed?
Yichud (couple’s short period of seclusion after ceremony)?
Directions to ceremony:
Other info: [Mikvah (ritual bath), Sheva brachot (7 blessings) transliterations]
Note: I am grateful to the American Reform movement for their materials in helping draw up this checklist.
As part of your preparation, you might also like to read: